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Map of Elf and Safety Madnessby Department for Work and Pensions
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Kids in Midlothian were forced to traipse hundreds of yards to use their new tree house, because the local council said building one on school land breached health and safety.
A sign on toilets in one library informed readers that library books were not allowed to be taken into the toilets - due to health and safety.
Filleting a fish at a Kenilworth fishmonger wasn't allowed for fear of causing a possible accident. Despite saying they offered a filleting service on their website, the shop said the fish the housewife had chosen was too slippery to cut.
A customer couldn't have his baguette cut in half because the company had banned knifes on the premises.
Thirsty on his holidays, one man found his desire to make himself a cuppa was apparently too dangerous. His hotel had banned kettles in bedrooms for fear of injury.
Hopes of a milky coffee at a coffee shop in Sheffield were hampered when the barista ran out of semi-skimmed milk and refused to add full-cream for fear of breaking the "law".
One hotel banned toilet brushes from all of its en suite rooms because they claimed it breached health and safety legislation.
When a woman arrived at a racecourse prepared for bad weather with a parasol, she didn't dream of having it confiscated. But it didn't stop jobsworths taking it in the name of health and safety. They said it could be used as a weapon, although she could have it back if it rained.
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